my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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