sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize