3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
