well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
