He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize