OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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