I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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