Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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