The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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