Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
