just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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