slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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