After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
