john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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