I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Buhtt sex?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
