Four minutes until I can fart!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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