A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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