all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
