So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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