so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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