it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
