He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
