she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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