4 words: hood of his car
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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