Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
