Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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