Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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