So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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