I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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