David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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