This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
