Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Randomize
