I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
