you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
