SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize