She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
