Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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