i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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