I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
