Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
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I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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