sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
