Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
