just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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