So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
