I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
