I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
