I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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