can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
