She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
