There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
