I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm like, not good at living.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize