That's intense
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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