Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
