He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
