So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
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I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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