Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
