I wannas sexs uuuuu
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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