there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
