he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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