Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
