got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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