They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
